From the most innocent flirt by the photocopier to marriages between co-workers, we all know that romance in the workplace is very much a reality. Research conducted by information specialists The Vault, suggests that 58% of those surveyed had been involved in an office romance, up 6% from the previous year. The same survey also found that 21% of employers now have policies that cover this phenomenon, an increase of 4% over the same period.

As we spend more and more of our lives at work, it seems natural and obvious that the office should become a possible context for forming close relationships and even sparking romance. As anyone who has had one will tell you however, it is not always as rosy and straightforward as it might appear, and many more relationships fail begun this way than succeed. Here are some tips for those about to embark, or have already embarked, on an office romance.

Be upfront
As with any relationship, it’s important to be upfront with your intended paramour about your expectations of the relationship, should one begin to materialise. A one-night stand is never advisable with a colleague, although if that’s what you’re after, don’t confuse them by indicating otherwise.

The more upfront you are, the easier the relationship will be to manage in the long run, so don’t be afraid to put your cards on the table if the situation arises.

Keep it professional
Just because you have begun a relationship with someone at your place of work does not mean that you can afford to treat the office and each other with any lesser degree of professionalism. In fact, the reverse should be the case, and the onus is on you to behave with the utmost professionalism in order to avoid charges that the relationship is affecting your work.

Both you and your new romance must agree on the terms of engagement, and stick to them. You both need to agree to keep the relationship secret until you both agree it is ok to go public, to treat each other no differently in the workplace, and to behave with dignity should the relationship break up. In many cases, employees often stay at a company longer than the relationship with a co-worker lasts, so it’s imperative to conduct the relationship right.

Status symbols
All too often the relative status of the two co-workers becomes a defining characteristic in their private relationship, particularly if the relationship exists between two people of non-equal status within the company. This can lead to imbalances within the relationship itself, and also invite outside accusations of favouritism should the relationship be made public.

Relationships with co-workers either your junior or senior are a potential minefield; you will need to be mindful of the implications and, where possible, agree to ditch any notions of status between you when you leave the office.

Remember your colleagues
These are the people you have to come into work with each day and treat the situation as if nothing has changed. Out of respect for your colleagues, their intelligence, and your future working relationships, it is important not to underestimate the perceptions of others with regard to any romantic involvement you might be engaged in with another co-worker.

The underlying issue with relationships at work is that they alter the balance of loyalty within the existing framework, causing jealousies and allegations of favouritism to be perceived which will not be in your professional interests. Try to remain objective and uncompromised when it comes to dealing with your co-workers, as this will mitigate any negative feelings towards your relationship and help with their acceptance should you decide to inform them.

Give each other space
If you work with your partner, the chances are that you will now be spending a very large amount of time together. Within this scenario, it is essential that you give each other some space from time to time in order that you may keep and develop your identity and avoid a sense of claustrophobia.

Workplace romances are exceptional circumstance that require you to operate differently than you would in a conventional relationship, so a bit of time apart occasionally will do you, and the relationship, the power of good.

What goes up…
The unfortunate truth about office romances is that the vast majority of them are doomed to failure. This is largely attributable to the additional strain that the context of the relationship brings, in addition to the intensity of spending so much time together.

If you do find yourself breaking up a relationship with a co-worker, try and conduct yourselves with dignity and respect for each other’s position at all times. Few people in the outside world are forced to come into daily contact with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the same way that you would do if you split from a co-worker – worth bearing in mind.

The secret of a successful working relationship
Having said all this, the absolute reality of working life means that a large proportion of us will have romantic inclinations towards a co-worker at some point in their career. It’s true that many who try and balance a workplace romance fail, but it is also true that some succeed, and are thankful that work gave them the opportunity to meet that special person.

Make sure that you have your eyes wide open, however, and have the ability within the relationship to fully discuss the implications and a sensible and agreed approach to dealing with the various challenges that engaging in such a relationship might bring.